i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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