:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
