I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
