coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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