Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
