The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
