Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
where am i from again
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
how drunk are you?
Several
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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