dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
