Sry I called you an 8
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
