i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my being single is dangerous.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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