Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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