Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
