Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My legs feel like baby dolphins
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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