Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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