i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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