Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Randomize
