is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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