Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
