First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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