We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
