hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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