i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
