you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
