She is in my trunk
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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