With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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