Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
