But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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