Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
