i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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