Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
