I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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