We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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