Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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