He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
