the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
