so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
