You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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