His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
