PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
