I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
