Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
