I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
