I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize