You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
