So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She just used a chaser for red wine.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
