We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
