There was a lot of him and a little penis
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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