yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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