There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
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