just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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