I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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