Don't make out with my wife yet
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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