and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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