he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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