Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
